Overcoming Adversity

Welcome to Building Better Developers, the Developer Nord podcast, where we work on getting better step by step, professionally and personally. Let's get started. Well, hello and welcome back. We are going to get off topic or get to a special topic today. We are not going to do an interview as this is a special topic Tuesday as we're doing right now. If we're going to give it a, we should probably give it a little theme music and everything like that, but we don't. This episode, we're going to focus on overcoming adversity. We have had several examples, particularly in the last year, essentially of interviewees, and they have had some really great stories, but whether their adversity, their challenges, their obstacles were huge or whether they were like run, we'll call it run in the mill. I mean, there are still obstacles, there's still work to be done, and there are still things that had to be overcome, had to be dealt with, but they may have felt more, in some cases, more like average things that normal people run into as opposed to some rare or unique in their, how they were set up, how they were resolved, the impact they had. For example, we early on talked with Tyler Foley and he was an actor and suddenly and he was singing and suddenly he had voice issues that stopped him. He had paralysis that messed him up for a good period of time. Got examples like that where people, they struggled through some stuff. And I want to talk about that a little bit because that, if you look at everybody we talked to, is probably more common than not. So if you have, we'll call it an excuse, if you have a reason that's stopping you from doing what you need to do, from taking that step, taking that risk, building out that side hustle, trying to see what that product does, testing the market and the waters and all those things, there is always risk involved. And sometimes it's huge. Sometimes not so much. But you don't know until after you've gone through it, until after you've found a way to beat that obstacle, whether you really, whether you can or not. Because in some cases it looks insurmountable. It looks like something that is the kind of obstacle that you, and maybe everybody you're talking to, says, you know what? That is something you're not going to be able to overcome. That is a blocker. That is the thing that is going to sink you. And the best stories start when somebody has something that's going to sink them and they overcome it anyways. That's every great story, effectively has that. You have some sort of challenge, some sort of obstacle, something that needs to be beaten. And they do. And while it may seem like it's not an everyday thing, like it's so tough and it's so big and there's no way we're going to get this done. We're no way we're going to beat this thing. And yet it happens on a regular basis. There are all of these examples that we've had. I could probably, if I wanted to, talk through every single interview that we've done ever for this podcast and find some level of adversity, some level of a fear factor, something that could have caused them or maybe did cause them to hesitate. It could have caused them to not go forward. And then of course, if you can't move forward, you're never going to succeed. Hesitation is one thing, but when you let it block you, then that means you're doomed to failure because you cannot beat it if you don't try to, if you don't make that attempt. And sometimes you're going to have to make that attempt multiple times. It's not going to be just one. And life being what it is, more often than not, what's going to happen is as soon as you find one that you have overcome, guess what? There's another one that's going to show up. And that's okay because what you'll also find, and one of the things that I hope that you've gotten out of these interviews, particularly ones where we talk about the struggles that somebody overcome, that they overcame, is that you can do this. That if you do, if you step into these things and you take on these challenges and you start beating them and you start finding ways around them and you find ways to work through them and you find help and all of these other things that all of these other players in that game of getting you to success, as you start seeing that success play out, as you start seeing those things fall into place, you're going to realize that guess what? You can do it again. You've done it before. You can do it again. And that doesn't mean that it's not going to be scary because there's always like a first time maybe that you're going to think or something like that. There's going to be those doubting voices in your head or people around you. They're going to say, hey, this can't be done or it's going to be too difficult. And the more you succeed, you build momentum to say, I'm going to keep on going. You knock down that first obstacle and then the next one. Because sooner or later, you're going to actually believe in yourself. And instead of this imposter syndrome that shows up all over the place where people get somewhere and they feel like they didn't earn it or that they're not as good as other people think they are. They're not really worth the respect or the accolades or things like that. But you know what? They are because they did it. And it may seem to them like a very minor thing, but sometimes that is because they have gone through so much that they have that momentum going and it's just, hey, set them up. Set up another pin and I'm going to knock it down. Put another one up, I'm going to knock it down. Because that's just how they act. That's what they start to expect. So there is momentum. And this goes back to our prior episode where we discussed getting started. There is also that momentum beyond just doing something. It is also in, let's say winning, to take a phrase that's been used in a couple different places. But really it's success. Success breeds success. So if you go in and you have a well-defined simple task and you succeed, then there should be some level of confidence that comes out of that where you say, hey, I did that. And maybe it was really easy. Maybe it's like I got out of bed and I tied my shoes. But for some people, that is a challenge. Sometimes that is a victory that you could float on for a week because everybody's different. Everybody's got different challenges. They've got a different perspective of those challenges. So while the guy or gal down the street, maybe like say getting a driver's license for them, no big deal. But for you, for whatever reason, it's huge. Maybe it's very difficult, very challenging. There could be something that is an obstacle or something like that that makes it harder for you. But when you do it, you have a big win. So it's relative and it's also personal. That's the fear and also the overcoming the fear, the success, the frustration and the success. Those things are all going to be related to where you at, what are you doing, what's your mindset. So one of the things you can do is get away from this keeping up with the Joneses things. And I know it's so hard now because you have everybody throwing their entire lives out on social media and all these other places and telling you everything about what they ate for breakfast and what they had for lunch and why their diet's working and why their kids are awesome and their spouse is awesome and their car is the fastest car ever, whatever it is. That's all crap. That stuff's all out there. Everybody's trying to look awesome and it makes it difficult for you to be looking at all these people that are faking awesome and you're trying to be real and say, gosh, how do I do this? How do I solve this problem? How do I launch this business? How do I take this risk? Now, you could look at it as well. These people, all these schmoes out there are having the best life anybody's ever lived, so why can't I? And that's, I think, the question I want you to ask yourself is if you do see these other people doing it, why don't you say, hey, I can do that? Don't think that the obstacles that you face while the context and the level of fear and the level of risk and those kinds of things may be a little different or I guess could be quite different, but they may be different from the other people, but everybody else has got their own set of fears and obstacles and reasons not to do whatever it is. And so that's why I wanted to bring some of these people to the table, as it were, and onto the podcast and to have you see some of these not as, oh my gosh, that was such a horrible tragedy that they had to deal with. Instead, look at it as look at the positives values of just a human being overcoming because they're really not that different from you. Hopefully, that's part of what we get out of this conversational kind of tone that we have in interviews. These are not necessarily like geniuses or the greatest X or Y or anything like that. These are just human people. These are the same kind of people you could hang out with on a subway while you're or have a beer with or whatever it is, whatever your thing, you could encounter them at the grocery store in a checkout line. They are, for the most part, same as you and me. Yeah, they're also, just like you and me, completely unique because that's the way we are. But amongst, within that uniqueness, within the uniqueness from every person that you know and meet and could even consider, there's also a lot of commonality. And while we may be unique, we are more like others than we are dislike others. We are unlike others. And that's what I want you to get out of these conversations and these challenges is you can hear where, yeah, you may have a really tough time, but here's somebody that had, you know, we'll call it a tougher time. They had more things put in front of them and maybe less skills to overcome those. And yet they did anyways because sometimes, yeah, they had, you know, their back was against the wall and they had no other choice. They got laid off or fired or their life was, they'd hit rock bottom or whatever it is. But even there, that's the thing to think about is that you save yourself from having to hit rock bottom or having your back up against a wall and instead say, okay, if I could do that in that situation, if I could do whatever this is, if I could take that step and take a risk for a side hustle or take a risk and try that new job or take a risk and change up my routine or whatever it is, if I could do that when my back's against the wall or when I've hit rock bottom or when there's no other options, if I can do it then, then how is it that you can't do it when you don't have your back against the wall? And that's the question you have to really answer for yourself. Is it because you're so afraid to do it that the only way you can do it is if you're really almost literally pushed into it? Or is it something where you have these doubts and at some point there is enough other things, another, other options or factors or whatever it is that will cause those doubts to go away that will force you to step into those doubts? Now it's very, it's very realistic to think that yeah, there are situations where it's like, yeah, I'll do it, but only if I'm forced to. It would be like, I don't know, eating Brussels sprouts. I'll eat them, but not gonna do it unless I really need, like I'm starving to death. Okay, it's not that bad, but you get the point. There are definitely situations that we get into that push us over an edge. That's the, you know, the old story of like, you know, somebody is in this tragic accident and they have so much this superhuman strength and they can like lift a car off a person or something like that. Okay, yeah, you get adrenaline going and things like that. Yeah, fine, we'll factor that in. However, adrenaline is usually not a factor for starting a side hustle, for going out and trying to, you know, land an extra job, do some moonlighting or to get yourself moving to a new career or into a situation where you can be your own boss. Now yeah, there's like a, there's that moment of that leap of faith, that moment where it's like, okay, I'm either doing it or not. But one of the other things I think we've learned through a lot of these interviews is it does not have to be 100%. It does not have to be, I'm gonna start my own business so I have to quit my job today. You don't have to do that. You can look at ways to look at these obstacles like, hey, I wanna go be my own boss, but I have a job and I have responsibilities. So I see it as my obstacle. I can't quit my job because if I do, then I'm not gonna be able to eat for a while because I don't know that a new place would, you know, a new job, my new business or company or whatever it is, probably wouldn't support me right away. Odds are very high that that won't happen. But that's okay. That's not the obstacle you have to deal with. You don't have to quit your job. So while there are these apparently insurmountable obstacles that we run into, there are also ways to completely avoid those things. Now, sometimes you're just kicking the can down the road. You're sooner or later going to have to, like in this case, maybe if you wanna be your own boss, at some point you have to quit your other job. However, sometimes you can build enough momentum or a safety net or something like that that allows you to take that step, that leap of faith, but you've got like a really nice net so you don't need to worry about the risk as much. You have mitigated your risks and now you can take this obstacle that was maybe a blocker, a hundred percent, can't get through that. And now you've found a way to dig your way around it, walk your way around it. So you avoid that exact blocker. You still basically are able to overcome that situation, but now you're doing it and sort of doing like an end run, taking a different path. Just like any obstacle we run into, if you run into a wall, then one of the first things you're gonna do is you're gonna say, okay, if I need to go to the other side of this wall, I'm gonna look to the left or the right, up, down, something like that, how do I go around the wall? You don't have to break through it. And I'm hoping that that's also one of the things you've gotten from these, all these great stories of people that have overcome adversity, is that they didn't always do it in the Hollywood ending, really awesome, genius, whatever brand new way to do it. A lot of times they like slog their way through stuff for a while and they said, okay, I've got to find a way around that. And so they run into a wall and they're gonna walk to the left for a little while. Like, oh, nothing that way. Okay, we're gonna go back and walk to the right a little while. Okay, nothing. All right, we're gonna figure out how to climb over it. Oh, that doesn't work. Okay, we're gonna figure out how to dig under it. You don't always have to go straight through the obstacle. And yes, sometimes you need to be pushed to get there, because sometimes you do and you have to be pushed. And the more you can find ways to push yourself, which again is what we often saw with our people that overcome great adversity, all of these stories and how they did it. A lot of times it came down to they got to a point where they said, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm not gonna blame somebody else. I'm not gonna wait for somebody else to fix it. I'm not gonna wait for somebody else to save me. I'm gonna go do it. I need to take that action. So yeah, this is a follow up really from our prior conversations of like, just go out there and do it. But this is adding some extra meat to it and saying, hey, people have had probably worse situations, more reasons to not do it. And they still did. So maybe, because they're not superhuman, you're just as good as them. Maybe you can find a way to, you know, kick yourself in the butt, step into it and do your thing. Take that risk. Live your life a little bit because life sitting back in the corner and just watching it go by is not terribly fun. It's not exciting. And yeah, we don't need a ton of excitement. We want to like, you know, have like a reasonable amount of excitement. But sooner or later, that means we have to have something. We have to take that step forward. We have to get out of the counter. We have to get off the couch. We have to get out of our comfort zone. And more often than not, when you start doing that, you'll realize that the comfort zone really wasn't that cool anyways. Yeah, you may have been a little bit comfortable, but you probably weren't happy or heaven forbid joyful about it. And yet when you hear these people again, look at these people that have overcome adversity. There was a lot of energy and excitement that came even in the midst of emotional stories. You could tell that there was a love of, hey, I got through that. Like the victory side of it. They're like, hey, I'm on the other side of this. So now I don't have to, yeah, it was sad. It was tough. It's difficult to even look back on. But now I'm through that. And I know that I don't have to go back there maybe. I don't know. This is not a counselor or anything like that. I'm just trying to get you motivated and trying to find ways that are very similar to the ways I motivate myself. It's like, hey, get up. You got a new day. You got some new stuff to check out. Some things will work. Some things won't. But hey, sooner or later, you keep doing this, you'll find that the things that work out will start building up. The next thing you know, you're running your own business when you thought you were never going to, or you're in a career position you never thought you were going to have. And again, yeah, you may have a really rough time. You may have a lot of obstacles, but other people have as well. And so rather than comparing yourself in a negative way and saying, oh, I could never do that. They were better than me. Try to keep that mindset of they are just like me and look what they did. Because I think that at the end of the day will be a bigger help and help you become a better you, not just a better developer or entrepreneur or anything else. Thank you so much for your time. As always, I hope you can get out there and maybe like, you know, have a little bit of a pep in your step, a little more zip in your step today, thinking that, hey, here's some things I can do. And if nothing else, like, hey, I can overcome some of these things. And if I do, then I don't have to worry about them tomorrow because I overcame them today. That being said, go out there and have yourself a great active momentum field filled day and a great week. And we will talk to you next time. Thank you for listening to Building Better Developers, the Develop-a-Nour podcast. You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Amazon, anywhere that you can find podcasts. We are there. And remember, just a little bit of effort every day ends up adding into great momentum and great success. Please check out school.developanour.com That is where we are starting to pour a lot of our content. We've taken the lessons, the things that we've learned, all of the things that make you a better developer, and we're putting it there. We have a range of courses from free short courses up to full paid boot camps. All of these include a number of things to help you get better, including templates, quick references, and other things that make us all better developers.