The good and bad news about being truly happy is that it comes down to individual taste.  We are only going to be truly happy when we are doing the things we enjoy.  That means that focusing your success on what others want will not bring happiness.  You must be true to yourself, and a little honesty does not hurt either.

Know Yourself

The scary thing is that we do not always know what is best for us.  We listen to others and gauge our happiness on what we are told should lead to happiness.  This happiness may be money, success, friends, relationships, or a good haircut.  That leads to frustration and wasted effort.  We end up chasing someone else’s dreams instead of our own.

A critical point in this episode is that the means can be as necessary as the end.  We can reach our goal and still be unhappy if we do not feel right about how we got there.  For example, we can win a championship, but if we cheat to do so, our conscience might prevent us from enjoying the victory.

Review and Assess Your Goals

The problem is not just other people.  We might change our tastes over time and might get stuck in a rut that was once enjoyable.  It pays to periodically review what we like and dislike about our job, our roles, and our friends.  We are stuck with our relatives, so I can only hope you like yours.  Take a close look at what you enjoy in these activities.  You might find that a task you thought you liked is not very enjoyable.  Maybe there is a piece of it that truly brings you joy.

A building contractor may think they love building structures, but maybe their true love is building walls.  If you are feeling less than joyful, maybe it is time to simplify or refocus.

Rob Broadhead

Rob is a founder of, and frequent contributor to, Develpreneur. This includes the Building Better Developers podcast. He is also a lifetime learner as a developer, designer, and manager of software solutions. Rob is the founder of RB Consulting and has managed to author a book about his family experiences and a few about becoming a better developer. In his free time, he stays busy raising five children (although they have grown into adults). When he has a chance to breathe, he is on the ice playing hockey to relax or working on his ballroom dance skills.

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